Saturday, September 18, 2010

I have to tell you
Today was a fairy tale
In that it was Grimm

Friday, September 17, 2010

It's OK, Kanye
We're all jackasses sometimes
You're just good at it

Thursday, September 16, 2010

You are the best thing
That's ever been mine -- oh wait
There's also my car

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Ruby, don't go out
Or I will take this wheelchair
And run you over

Monday, August 23, 2010

Mr. conductor?
This guy next to me just died
He was a gambler

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Go ahead, whip me
I just get off on the pain
I've been bad, mistress!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hey there, working man
With your hard hat and hammer
We're laying you off

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Pour your love on me
Just don't pour your beer on me
This is a new shirt

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

If you don't take me
Down to the little white church
No more ass for you

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Since my only skill
Is drinking beer very well
I don't have a job