I have to tell you
Today was a fairy tale
In that it was Grimm

It's OK, Kanye
We're all jackasses sometimes
You're just good at it

You are the best thing
That's ever been mine -- oh wait
There's also my car

Ruby, don't go out
Or I will take this wheelchair
And run you over

Mr. conductor?
This guy next to me just died
He was a gambler

Go ahead, whip me
I just get off on the pain
I've been bad, mistress!

Hey there, working man
With your hard hat and hammer
We're laying you off

Pour your love on me
Just don't pour your beer on me
This is a new shirt

If you don't take me
Down to the little white church
No more ass for you

Since my only skill
Is drinking beer very well
I don't have a job